I immediately felt remorse after posting Taking Candy from Babies because I feared I would offend some people whom I love dearly. I do not regret sending the message that refined sugar is simply terrible for our children and that as a society, we’re not monitoring it as closely as we should be. I do regret the choice to attack. Its not exactly the best teaching method.
A wise man once told me, when you write out of anger, you limit your audience. The reader immediately becomes defensive, even if they agree with you to some degree, because you are talking to them. And I know that if I am busy being defensive, I learn little to nothing.
A couple of people whose advice I respect have wondered why I was so angry. True, no one has outright accused me of “depriving my son of love” because I’ve denied him treats. But food is an emotional issue for lots of us. It represents a lot about our lives; daily routine, nurturing, guilt, comfort, control… it encompasses too much and it was overwhelming. I didn’t know where to start. I started with anger.
Then again, with anger comes change. We rarely make adjustments when we’re content. And I wouldn’t write a word if I always had to worry about who I will offend. Unfortunately for my writing career, I do not function well if I think someone is mad at me. Goes back to my junior high years.
So I’ll just have to find the right balance when spouting off about any of my crusades. Finding balance has always been a challenge for me. I’ll continue to write about food and mood and kids and nutrition because those topics fascinate me. And I’ll start with some anger because its real. But I will work on a kinder, gentler delivery. Bear with me.
I am not having a midlife crisis. But I must confess that I am currently not frolicking in any meadows. Mostly because there is 2 feet of ugly, slushy, dirty snow on the ground with another 6″ in the way. This winter sucks ass.
Anyway, I am taking suggestions for a new title. Something that suggests midlife doesn’t have to be a crisis. You are not allowed to use the words “introspection”, “rumination”, “musing”, or “reflections (puke)”. It can be cynical, but it must be witty.
If I choose your suggestion, I will write an ode to you and your superior brain.
I received an email from a friend today in which she stated, “I can’t see why-in-the-world 99.99% of blogs exist – total mental masturbation”.
She obviously doesn’t know I started a blog. I doubt that knowledge would keep her from sharing her views anyway, she’s refreshingly honest. But I was really grateful to her for the excellent title. This won’t be the last time she puts an idea in my head.
She’s right though. I agree with her 99.99%. Like masturbation, personal blogs exist for self-gratification purposes. It strokes my ego to see my words on the Internet, rather than tucked away in a lost file on my hard drive. I invest my time in this guilty pleasure because I feel satisfied at the end of a particularly good paragraph. This is my time to purge pent-up mental frustrations and unsolicited advice. I am excited by an activity that stimulates my brain and perks up a cerebral libido has been sluggish for a long time.
And like masturbation, I sneak in some words when alone. When my husband has fallen asleep early on the couch. I run upstairs during an episode of Curious George to rub out a few lines. I’m getting away with something selfishly naughty.
If masturbation can improve your sex life with a partner, blogging does the same for a writer. I am using and abusing Word Press to hone my rough writing skills. I will work out the kinks here before I pounce into the publishing bedroom with prowess.
With practice, I might become the .01% that SHOULD exist. Who doesn’t want to get paid for satisfying themselves?
So unless I go blind, I will continue my blog. Even if its existence is purely for my pleasure. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little mental foreplay….