Mental Masturbation

 I received an email from a friend today in which she stated, “I can’t see why-in-the-world 99.99% of blogs exist – total mental masturbation”.

She obviously doesn’t know I started a blog. I doubt that knowledge would keep her from sharing her views anyway, she’s refreshingly honest. But I was really grateful to her for the excellent title. This won’t be the last time she puts an idea in my head.   

She’s right though. I agree with her 99.99%. Like masturbation, personal blogs exist for self-gratification purposes. It strokes my ego to see my words on the Internet, rather than tucked away in a lost file on my hard drive. I invest my time in this guilty pleasure because I feel satisfied at the end of a particularly good paragraph. This is my time to purge pent-up mental frustrations and unsolicited advice. I am excited by an activity that stimulates my brain and perks up a cerebral libido has been sluggish for a long time.  

And like masturbation, I sneak in some words when alone. When my husband has fallen asleep early on the couch. I run upstairs during an episode of Curious George to rub out a few lines. I’m getting away with something selfishly naughty.

If masturbation can improve your sex life with a partner, blogging does the same for a writer. I am using and abusing Word Press to hone my rough writing skills. I will work out the kinks here before I pounce into the publishing bedroom with prowess. 

With practice, I might become the .01% that SHOULD exist. Who doesn’t want to get paid for satisfying themselves?

So unless I go blind, I will continue my blog. Even if its existence is purely for my pleasure. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little mental foreplay….   

One thought on “Mental Masturbation

  1. I don’t look at it like you are getting away with something selfishly naughty-I think practicing both activities feeds your soul-make time to do both…maybe not the masturbation one in JC Penny though..unless you are hooked up to a secret vibrator (that could be interesting)

    I love your writing.

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